Hearing Capabilities

Words jump out and leap right into my face. They force me out of a fog and into the chair in this room.

From the first minute of my first OA meeting, I wanted to assimilate every word, but the buzzing in my head kept me from hearing at all. There was this hum outside of me - and inside, the echo chamber of my own internal mumblings. Then the speaker's eyes were focused on me. She served as leader of the day, the one presenting the morning's program, and I began to hear her words - "...are the most important one here today. Your coming here helps us maintain our own recovery. So YOU are an important guest." Oh, she's talking about me. Now isn't that like me, to key into the topic when the words are about me. Another Step, I understand, but not for today. This hour is just for listening and orienting to this group and this program.

I'm observing me from a level that sees what a mess I am. My life is out of control. With the hope offered here in these rooms, I can climb back down into myself and be whole. Wholly me, and wholly present at every happening of my life.