Another revelation. Another veil dropped yesterday. Where was I? Where have I been that I didn't see this coming? I guess the answer is: I was deep in my sickness.
I expressed to several my feelings of shock and dismay at the discovery. I felt betrayed by lies, more lies, but I felt really dumb. I should have known. I should have seen it long before this.
I could have sunk to the bottom. My habit would be to isolate, and hit myself over the head at least a hundred times before dusk. Thank goodness for sponsors and friends.
It was suggested to me that I could do something else a hundred times a day. I could think this thought every time it passes by my brain: God is restoring me to sanity right now!
I heard another good thing, too. Seeing things more clearly, with veils dropping daily, is God's way of stretching me to believe that he can restore me to sanity. So I see that Step Two, also, is not a hop and a skip across a puddle, but a wide, wide ice floe adrift in a big ocean. I'm putting on my snow shoes for this trek!
Another valuable 'take-away' from a shared conversation: Now I can begin to see who I am becoming. I like that. I'd rather use my time by focusing on Who I Am Becoming than on How Could I Have Been So Dumb.
With a grateful heart for the rooms, the tools, the Program, my sponsor and friends, and the sickness that sent me to them.
Steps-Sister
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